Florida Is Crazy

As if we needed further confirmation, the Casey Anthony trial has given us yet another reason to remember why Florida is the looniest state of all.

Anthony’s acquittal for murdering her daughter adds to the growing list of well-publicized oddesies that have come out of the Sunshine State.  At some point, you’ve got to admit it’s not a coincidence.

Here are a few that come to mind:

#1  Hanging Chads

Most of you will recall how the 2000 presidential election came down to Florida’s “hanging chad ballots” — ballots which were not punched properly.  The election was razor thin.  Several Florida counties decided to manually recount the votes to make sure they did not miss any due to hanging chads.  These counties requested an extension to the filing deadline for voting returns.  In a shocking move, the Florida secretary of state denied the request for extension, and declared Bush the winner.  All hell broke loose.

The election hung in limbo for more than a month while the entire nation gawked at the one state that could not properly count its ballots.  Al Gore fought the ruling all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, but ultimately he lost.  The election was ultimately decided by mere 537 votes, with no recount.  The outcome is still disputed.

#2  Scary Churches

Another case that went to the U.S. Supreme Court involved a church in Hialeah, Florida (near Miami) known as the Church of Lukumi Babalu Aye.  The Church practiced Santeria, a religion which required them to behead chickens and goats as animal sacrifices.  The sacrifices were performed publicly, in broad daylight.

The other people in Hialeah were disgusted by these public slaughters.  They passed a city ordinance prohibiting the sacrificing of animals in this manner.  The Church challenged the law, and eventually, the Supreme Court upheld their right to perform the sacrifices.  The practices continue to this day.  (To be fair, this also goes on in Texas.)

#3  Senseless Murders

Speaking of senseless murders, when you shoot your own brother over a coke . . . you know you come from a crazy state.  (And you almost make Cain look like a saint.)

#4  Pythons . . .  African Pythons!

If your pets start disappearing and you suspect that there could be an African python living under you house . . . you KNOW you come from a crazy state.  (Those things have been known to eat alligators!)

#5  Alligators Everywhere

In Florida, the police do not enforce the law.  The gators do.


Does anyone else have examples of Florida’s nuttiness?  Don’t be stingy.

6 thoughts on “Florida Is Crazy

  1. I love Florida. Texas is jealous of it’s beaches…Texas is the crazy place where guys love their girlfriends so much that they cook them and eat them. Yeah, that happened about 20 mins away from where I used to live in Tyler. In my whole life, I’ve never heard more moms say, “If my kids gets drunk at my house, it’s okay because they won’t be out driving.” than the moms in TX. Most of them had young teenagers. Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos in TX and it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.Bicycles must be operated at a “reasonable speed” as well. No speed cycling for any Texans.The Dildo law really bummed me out so I had to move to LA.

  2. I was thinking of the elderly there.  But one good thing is that the state is very inexpensive to live in.  However I don’t like that it rains every afternoon during the summer.  I don’t mind rain showers, I’d wish we’d get some here!, but everyday?…  *That’s from what I remember as a teenager when we visited for a summer trip for a week.  My parents used to live in FL when they worked for Northeast Airlines bought out my Delta.*

  3. @juliekaye77 –  The word on the street is that she’s hiding out in Ohio.  (Good place, just ask Lefty.)  I think we are safe for now.@Joobie82 –  Ok, now you’re comin’ awful close to messin’ with Texas!  Just don’t let us catch you talkin’ like that on this side of the border.  :  P   I’m not surprised at all that Louisiana is a dildo-friendly state.  You’ll have to tell Lance Armstrong about the bicycle law, he’s from Austin.@leahKtutu – @korean_angel214 –  Good catch!  Can’t forget about the old people.@mozeik –  Yeah, I have a friend who is trying to get licensed over there.  You need like eight attorney references.  Talk about crazy.

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